Six Tips For Newlyweds From A Not-So-Newlywed

Welcome to September (aka my favorite month aka birthday month!).  I've got yet another great guest post for you today from the lovely Mandi of Nosh & Nurture.  I love Mandi's tips for newlyweds and will definitely be working on putting them into practice in the next few weeks...just as soon as we're home from the honeymoon!  Check out Mandi's post below and be sure to swing by her blog and say hi! 

So you’re a newlywed. Congratulations! Life is blissful as you’re currently coming off the wedding high. The stressors from the big day have dissipated and you’re left in your new place with your new husband and new adventures lie ahead.

My husband and I were married on September 17^th, 2011 during a God-filled, beautiful rustic-themed ceremony surrounded by 175 of our closest friends and family. I married my best friend that day (which is totally the way to go and will make married life much more interesting and fun!) and a part of me felt married to him already before we had even walked down the aisle.

But that night, as the reception began to wind down, I realized it was finally my truth. He was my husband and I was his wife, and for the rest of our lives we would be married.

Being a newlywed, for me personally, in the beginning wasn’t all sunshine and unicorns. If I am being honest. Take heart that this is in no way to scare you, it’s just the truth. I suffered a form of post-wedding depression (my therapist swears it’s real even though I just felt crazy) as I am a Type-A all the way and the previous year of my life had been organizing this grand event that was now over. Working from home, and still in school, I felt a little lost and it took me a little while to really fall into the ‘wife’ rhythm. But once I refocused back on God, my goals, my career and my new role as Mr. Charming’s wife, I soon fell in love with being a wife and to this day (we're celebrating four years) I adore the role God put me in.

As many of you are to be married this year, or have just gotten married, I wanted to share a few words of advice for newlyweds from someone who’s been there.

1. Take A Honeymoon - Even if you can’t afford a major tropical vacation or if you were not gifted one, do something, anything to commemorate this magical time in your life. Mr. Charming and I stayed in a beautiful resort the night of our wedding but then put off going on a big trip right away to save money. We have traveled many, many times since, to many beautiful places, but none of our trips were a true honeymoon and I would tell newlyweds to do it in celebration!

2. Stay Busy - After the wedding craziness is over, maybe some of you will love that it’s over. For me, planning my wedding was such a JOY and filled so much of my time that I wish I would have had more going on post-wedding to re-shift my focus and give me purpose. Make sure to pour your heart back into work, church or a new project and of course being a new wife! I struggled with finding my true new role in it all - but was overjoyed when I found my stride and connected to God’s true meaning of serving my husband.

3. Live for God first, and your husband, no one else  - As SOON as that ring is on your finger family and friends will want to know what’s next. I kid you not, AT OUR WEDDING a rumor started that we were having a baby already. SO not true. We’ve been married four years and are just starting our family. Remember that it’s your decision, not your families, on when you want to add littles to the nest. Enjoy being married!

4. Date Each Other Often - Being married almost five years now, my husband and I still schedule “date days” and “date nights” often. Labeling a day out together as “date day” infuses a sense of fun, like when we were first together. We are both working and in school, so we soak up our time together. He also randomly still surprises me with roses (it was part of his vows he wrote to me) and I still pack his lunch every day. It’s the little things that make the days special and make your partner feel loved and appreciated.

5. Stay You - Don’t lose you by marrying someone else. He fell in love with YOU - so stay true to who you are. Some brides feel they lose their identity when they marry. And though you are being united to another through Christ, your personality and all the awesomeness that makes you who you are can still shine. Keep up with your hobbies and your friends and your husband will fall in love with you again and again.

6.       Pray Together - The most important of all. Pray together. This is huge. Pray for each other. Pray for your husband. Pray for your loved ones. Pray for your church, for your community, for your future children. Pray that God remains in the center of your marriage, every day. Staying focused on God will help keep your words kinder, your heart softer and your actions loving with each passing year.

Congratulations again to all the newlyweds and brides-to-be. Also check out my Seven Tips For Marriage Bliss from a Proverbs 31 perspective. And all of you that are married yourselves, I’d love to hear your tips for newlyweds out there! My sister is getting married soon and I’d love to compile a book of tips just like this for her from other Christian women!