Community Brew // When Everything's Not Mapped Out

today i'm joining in with madison over at wetherills say i do and rachel of oh, simple thoughts for their community brew link-up!  community brew is a monthly link-up that is designed for bloggers to be "open, honest, and vulnerable, and to build community with others."  november's prompt is seasons, so join in and tell us a little bit about what season of life you're in!

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a few weeks ago i sat at the island in my parents' kitchen crying to my mom as i described the season that i'm in right now.  because halfway through my twenties, i'm waiting, still in a season of transition, still not putting down roots, though my heart longs for them.

when i was in college, i read a book called here's the hindsight.  it was like sitting down to coffee with an older and wiser friend...the kind of book that i wrote down quotes from and hung them all over my bulletin board above my dorm room desk.  i recently pulled that book back out and flipped through it.  i had forgotten about some of the details of the author's story, and chuckled when i read these words:

i knew what she meant.  i couldn't wait to get my feet on city soil; it seemed like the move to nashville couldn't come quickly enough.  even though i knew it was looming ahead, waiting for it was like waiting for your meal to arrive at a restaurant where everyone else is eating and you're starving.  the anticipation frustrates every breath.

...

i was worried i had doled out too much of the "we may not know what tomorrow holds, but we know who holds tomorrow" rhetoric.  while it's true, it's a hard truth to hang on to when you want everything to be mapped out and to make sense.

-here's to hindsight, p. 57

i nearly laughed out loud reading those words because they so perfectly echo and mirror my season of life.  i know what is looming in the distance, but it's just not quite time yet.  and so i don't know the when or the why of it all, but i do know that there is a reason for where i am. 

one of my favorite books of the bible is ruth.  what i love about ruth is that she was in a season of unknown and waiting.  with her husband gone, she followed her mother-in-law to a land that she didn't know, and there, she waited.  i don't know if ruth knew that god was holding her tomorrow.  after all, she wasn't an israelite and culturally, it wasn't the norm to do what she did by following naomi.  she probably didn't plan on spending her days gathering leftover wheat, but she did anyway, waiting for what might come next; she carried on with the task at hand in faith that god had a plan..and in doing so, waited for what might be better.  and eventually, god delivered.  

god doesn't always (or ever) hand us a road map for the season of life we're in.  mostly, he just asks us to trust that he has our back, that he has a plan.  i don't know where you are right now...maybe you have it all figured out and you're settled into a life, (a job, a family, a house) that will be your season for a long, long time.  or maybe you're like me...waiting for what's next. 

i long for the road map.  to know exactly where i'm headed, exactly what god has for me, exactly when it's all going to happen.  i'm a planner (can you tell?)...i like to know the plan, i like to stick to the plan.  but i'm learning, in this season where i often feel lost and unsure and when the map looks like maybe it was stuffed in the glove compartment for too long and now it's hard to decipher where the roads are leading, i'm learning to press into jesus even more.  i'm learning to stir up the big dreams within my heart, to cover those dreams in prayer, and to pursue him even more deeply.

because if there's one thing i know about the future, it's that no matter where i go or what i do, i want people to know who sent me.  so while i wait, i can think of no better way to spend my time than getting to know him better.

so what about you...do you wish you had a road map for life?  what is your season like right now, or have you ever been where i'm standing?