Valentine's Guest Post: Caroline from JCaro

In honor of Valentine's week, I've got a special guest post for you from Caroline of Jane Caroline.  This girl is one that I'm so blessed to have found through the blog world.  She's the kind of person I really wish I knew in real life.  The kind of friend I think I would spend many an afternoon having study-dates-turned-deep-conversations at a local coffee shop with. Is that creepy?  Ooops....errr...anyway...here's Caroline's post!

I will go on a “Valentine’s Day Date” with my favorite person in the world. He's my best friend. He sees my ups; he sees my downs.

When it comes to sappy, I am the queen. I love cheesy romantic gestures. I love Clayton's notes, surprises, & flowers. I treasure the hours spent helping my brother make a Valentine’s Word Search for his first girlfriend. I loved secret admirers and quirky gift exchanges. I love holidays, I love flowers just like every girl, and I love love.

But, the problem with Valentine’s Day is far too many people leave the day feeling unloved—both those in relationships and those who are single.

It’s not the day’s fault. We should celebrate the one we’re committing our lives to and going to spend forever with. We should set time aside for the warm, sentimental moments that make our heart race. We need to celebrate our partner because in the next week they are probably going to drive us up the wall, lead us to tears, or make us question our own sanity as we stomp out of the room. But, we don’t dwell on the latter reality. It is the warm, sappy moments that we—especially young women—envision and crave. We picture candle lit dinners, petals on the floor, classical music mysteriously coming out of the walls {or, whatever other cliché picture comes to mind when you think of a romantic Valentine’s Day}.

The problem is these expectations are unattainable.

{unless you’re in a scripted Hollywood romantic comedy on the 20^th take of the scene}. I cried at every birthday party all through elementary school. My tears came with such clockwork that my mom applauded me the first year I didn’t cry. I would wait so long for my party and the anticipation would build for the best night of the year to celebrate ME. When it came and didn’t live up to the Mary-Kate and Ashley hype in my mind, I cried. I think that’s a bit like Valentine’s Day. For some who are single, Valentine’s Day has evolved into a focus on what is missing for idealized, romantic moments. For those in relationships, the expectation for those same idealized, romantic moments remains unmet... because we don’t live in a movie.

These expectations don’t lead to love. They inevitably lead to being let down.

Align your expectations with reality and save your heart. Valentine’s Day is an excuse to buy chocolate for yourself and friends. It’s a reminder to love and cherish those around you. It is not a reminder you are single. It is not a reminder that your spouse isn’t romantic. It’s not a reminder you don’t have much money or that you have to work too much. It’s a happy and simple thing. It’s merely a random Thursday with chocolate & a reason to show love yourself. Let anything beyond surprise you—not be the expectation.

Share some love instead of calculating what's coming your way. I guarantee that's the purest form of love. Pure, selfless love.